In a Nutshell

Sunday
I had a bath and it was not as horrible as I thought it would be.

I smelled like Rosemary Mint for a long time after, but I took care of that with some rolling around and licking myself clean. I also had my nails done, and got brushed a lot. I am shedding a little mom says. Dad says I look ridiculous on one side where there is some hair coming out and when he says that mom yells at him.
I got to run around a lot after my bath, and everyone watched me and played with me.

I liked that part a lot.

Monday
Today was Girl's birthday and everyone went out and left me home all alone in my crate while they got dinner. During the day the cat teased me and picked on me a lot. If I am asleep sometimes he comes over and taps me with his paw until I chase him. Then he runs off too quick for me to catch him. Other times he lets me get his tail or jump on him, and then he makes angry noises, but he never hurts me. It's strange. If I am in my crate being good, he comes over and puts his paw on my crate door and teases me. Mom says this is why she does not like cats. She makes me be nice to him, but I think he should be eaten. It doesn't seem fair.

Tuesday
When I came downstairs this morning it was just like a regular day; I had my breakfast and I went for my walk. But then I noticed something very strange in the dining room. On the table there was a big gold thing, and when I looked closer I discovered that it was the Gold Birthday Balloon of Death. I barked and barked and barked.

Mom took it down from the table and made me get close to it; well, she didn't exactly make me, she just put down enough kibble that I really did not have a choice. After that I was quiet near it. She put it back on the table and I ignored it for most of the day. But then it MOVED, all by itself in the air in the house, and I got really mad at it again and barked and barked and barked. Mom brought it down on to the floor again and showed it to me, and I ate kibble from the floor all around it. I think it will be ok.
Mom had a friend over, Cindy is her name, and I got to sit on the couch and be petted and played with while they drank wine and talked a lot. Women like to talk, dad says. As long as I get petted, that's fine with me. Mom went outside with Cindy last night when Cindy was leaving and I was not happy because it was almost dark time and mom is always home at dark time. I waited very patiently.

She came back in eventually, and I was glad.

Wednesday
The Gold Birthday Balloon of Death will not LEAVE! This morning it made me very upset again. Mom tried to get me to eat kibble and accept it, and I did at first, but then I started barking again. Then she tried to distract me by making a loud sound, or clicking her tongue, but I ignored her completely. Mom thought that maybe I had decided that the balloon pooped kibble and was barking to get more, so she decided on a "deterrent", as if I need one of those. She filled up a squirt bottle with water, and every time I barked at the balloon she squirted me. After three squirts I decided that not only does the balloon not poop kibble, it's not worth my time barking at it. Mom says that the squirt bottle is her least favorite thing to use, but because I was just insistent and would not stop, she needed to up the ante. I guess it can stay, but I wish it would leave; the bottle AND the balloon!

I have lost a lot of teeth now. Mom says she is saving them and Dad wants to know why. Me too. I would like to keep them, but she grabs them up as soon as I spit them out. She can tell when I am going to lose one, she says, because I stop chewing as much. Some of them are big and annoying in my mouth when they are loose.

Mom gave me a quarter of an apple the other day because I had stopped chewing my bones and she knew one was loose. I chewed on it until the tooth fell out, and then I nibbled it with just my front teeth. Sometimes I don't want to chew my food now because of my teeth so mom is letting it soak and get mushy. It works better, I think. I will be glad when they are all out and my big teeth are all in.
It is supposed to snow tonight. Mom says that if it does not snow a lot we can go for a walk again, all the way down the road. I hope it does not snow!