Banned? Never!

Mom has been so busy with her new book coming out that she has no time to help me blog.
I have been up to a lot lately. We were going for long walks every other day around the pond, but then the mom got worried about the Rottwielers. Apparently they are loose in the woods while their person works. Apparently they don't like other dogs. When they drove past our house and I was walking on the road with mom, they tried to eat the windows to get at me. I totally could take them. Mom is being silly. So we haven't walked for a few days, first because of the dogs and second because mom killed a whole bunch of chickens this weekend and was "too busy". As if anyone could be too busy for me! I like it when she kills chickens, though. I get livers and hearts and things as treats sometimes. I want to kill my own chickens, but mom says no. I had one the other day, but it was already dead. It still had feathers, and it was a nice bite-size. Mom had set it down on top of a grain bin, and I got it! She thought I was too far away on my dog park. Can you believe she has a dog park in the barn?? The door is closed. I am not going anywhere. And she has a HOOK she sticks my leash on. She says it is so I cannot get into trouble. But I find trouble anyway. I shook that dead baby chicken as hard as I could. Mom and dad were working and at first no one knew what I had done. Then mom figured it out and I got in BIG trouble.
Every morning I help mom with the chickens. She opens the door and I sit and watch them come out. I am not allowed to move. I have to sit very still and not chase the chickens. It is VERY hard work. Owen gets to just wander around and sniff stuff while all of this is going on. He doesn't even wear a leash; he could kill a chicken, and he DOESN'T! He's kind of dumb I think.

Tomorrow is my Canine Good Citizen test. I will pass because I am me. Mom says that is not enough. Today we went to the yarn store for a last practice before the test. She told me to lay down and I said no. She told me again, and I still said no. We did that for a while. She made me, and I stayed down, but I was mad. We sold some fresh chickens at the yarn store, and then we delivered some to a school, the same school that hatched out baby chicks last month for mom. That was fun. Then we went to The Arbors to visit Nana. There was a lady in the lobby with Nana. I went to see her and she said "down" and pointed at the floor, and I laid down like I had known her forever. I hope mom gets the point. She is not the boss of ME! I will show her. Wait till tomorrow night! I have a BIG PLAN! Mom will learn!
Girl has her own place now, so I am taking her room. Mom calls it a guest room, but every night I go in and sniff everything to make sure it is where I left it, since it's MY room now. After I check my room I go with mom into the bathroom. Every night I get my teeth brushed. I really like it now, and if mom forgets I stand in front of the sink and whine.

Mom does a very good job on my teeth, and then she does hers. While she brushes her teeth I get to go into the bedroom and play with dad. The other night Mel got into the bedroom before me - usually he is not in the bedroom EVER. I tried to chase him out, but the door was closed. He ran under the bed, and I chased him under it. Dad let Mel out, but I kept going under the bed in a big circle; door, bed, door, bed, over and over. I go under on dad's side and pop out on mom's side, and then run to the door. It is SO much fun! Mom laughed at me, but I think really it was with me.
On Saturday I made a new... well maybe it is a friend. Really I am not sure what it is. It's small. Very small. And it smells very funny. Sometimes it pees when it walks. It is, mom says, 4 weeks old, and part Beagle. It lives with my "brother" Eric and his fiance Rachel and my nephew Aidan.

Mom says that Jack, this small thing, will be my friend when he is bigger.
If we are going to be friends, there need to be some ground rules. Actually, only one rule.

MINE!

I will try to get mom to let me post about how I do on my test tomorrow. I am SO going to mess with mom! Stay tuned!