Epic Fail.

Uncle Steve calls me "EF" (that means Epic Fail) and dad referred to my class last night as GED Prep. I don't think this is a compliment. Mom got mad and said she had a GED, and a college degree, and what did dad mean, exactly? Dad looked kind of worried for his safety after that. That made me feel a little better.
Mom has made me do a ton of things since my bad night. We go into town a lot more. I have to lay down all the time, and especially in front of distractions. I have to lay down a lot. Last night I had a class that mom said would decide whether I could be retested any time soon or not. I tried my best. It was really hard. There was a German Shepherd who barked at me. He still has his boy-bits, like me, but I think he may be older than I am. He ignored most of the other dogs and barked at me all during class. I tried really hard to be good, and I was good, mostly. I had a couple of moments. It is hard to be good when someone is trying to get you to respond to them. There was also a Rottweiler, a pitbull, and two Old English Sheepdogs, two children, and new strange people. They all seemed much nicer than the shepherd. I did ok, mom said. Not perfect, not horrible. She says I can try the test again, but if I fail I have to go back into the class with the shepherd. I hope I pass.
I definitely have a different attitude about things now. Mom says that she thinks the bigger my testicles get the smaller my brain gets. I don't know if that's true. I do know that I feel different now. I feel something I don't really understand. Mom says it's called hormones and I'd better get used to it.
We went to the vet last week, not for me but to get medicine for Boo. He has arthritis in his hips and mm gives him a shot once a week to help. it helps a lot. Maybe too much, because now he wants to steal all my stuff. Before he didn't care what I had, he just laid around and sighed and panted a lot. I got on the scale. I weigh 23 pounds.
We went for a walk this week in New Hampshire. I got a tick. The last tick I had was actually biting me. This one was just walking on my leg. Mom does not like ticks, I guess. She ground it up with two rocks into tiny pieces and all it did was walk on me. Mom has issues!
Before our walk mom went shopping at two stores and left me in the car. It was raining and dark and I had my crate and the windows were open. Mom went very fast. It was not hot. Mom says that soon we won't be able to do that because it will be summer. It bothers me that I can't go in ALL stores! I like being with mom on errand day. After mom did her errands we went to Petco. First we walked around the big building where Petco and some other stores are. It's in a city with noise and cars and people and dogs. Mom made me lay down right there next to the city noise and traffic. Then inside Petco she made me lay down in front of a lady with three little kids and a shopping cart. I had to stay until they went by.
I do think mom would be easier on me if I had just done what I was supposed to during that stupid test. I don't know if I like hormones very much if they make me do stupid things.

I did well and mom let me pick two toys out of the clearance bin. I fell asleep on them as soon as we were in the car. Shopping is very hard work!

Crime Doesn't Pay

And neither does messing with mom. Since my decision to NOT lay down during my CGC test, here's what's been going on.

Mom makes me lay down with Boo.

She makes me lay down in the powder room when I follow her in.

She makes me lay down in the kitchen when I follow her there, too.

She makes me lay down next to her chair when she's working.

I even laid down under the table at The Green Bean in Northampton.
There's a bunch of other places too. All day long, all I hear is down, down, down. Sometimes she gives me a treat, most of the time she does not. It's like when I was little and she was teaching me all of these things. She thinks I am STUPID and a BABY and don't know how to lay down!
Maybe I made a mistake. I don't think I am very happy with the outcome of messing with mom.

I hope she doesn't make me repeat the whole class again. I could have passed. I just didn't want to!

HAH! I WIN!

Remember when I said I had a trick or two up my sleeve? Well I did! I totally failed that dumb test! TAKE THAT MOM! I am seven months old and I do NOT have to do what you say! So there!
I don't get why she won't give me my chicken gizzard now. She's looking kind of annoyed at me. Maybe I should reconsider and work on being good? I should think about that. But for now I am enjoying being bad. It's FUN!

Banned? Never!

Mom has been so busy with her new book coming out that she has no time to help me blog.
I have been up to a lot lately. We were going for long walks every other day around the pond, but then the mom got worried about the Rottwielers. Apparently they are loose in the woods while their person works. Apparently they don't like other dogs. When they drove past our house and I was walking on the road with mom, they tried to eat the windows to get at me. I totally could take them. Mom is being silly. So we haven't walked for a few days, first because of the dogs and second because mom killed a whole bunch of chickens this weekend and was "too busy". As if anyone could be too busy for me! I like it when she kills chickens, though. I get livers and hearts and things as treats sometimes. I want to kill my own chickens, but mom says no. I had one the other day, but it was already dead. It still had feathers, and it was a nice bite-size. Mom had set it down on top of a grain bin, and I got it! She thought I was too far away on my dog park. Can you believe she has a dog park in the barn?? The door is closed. I am not going anywhere. And she has a HOOK she sticks my leash on. She says it is so I cannot get into trouble. But I find trouble anyway. I shook that dead baby chicken as hard as I could. Mom and dad were working and at first no one knew what I had done. Then mom figured it out and I got in BIG trouble.
Every morning I help mom with the chickens. She opens the door and I sit and watch them come out. I am not allowed to move. I have to sit very still and not chase the chickens. It is VERY hard work. Owen gets to just wander around and sniff stuff while all of this is going on. He doesn't even wear a leash; he could kill a chicken, and he DOESN'T! He's kind of dumb I think.

Tomorrow is my Canine Good Citizen test. I will pass because I am me. Mom says that is not enough. Today we went to the yarn store for a last practice before the test. She told me to lay down and I said no. She told me again, and I still said no. We did that for a while. She made me, and I stayed down, but I was mad. We sold some fresh chickens at the yarn store, and then we delivered some to a school, the same school that hatched out baby chicks last month for mom. That was fun. Then we went to The Arbors to visit Nana. There was a lady in the lobby with Nana. I went to see her and she said "down" and pointed at the floor, and I laid down like I had known her forever. I hope mom gets the point. She is not the boss of ME! I will show her. Wait till tomorrow night! I have a BIG PLAN! Mom will learn!
Girl has her own place now, so I am taking her room. Mom calls it a guest room, but every night I go in and sniff everything to make sure it is where I left it, since it's MY room now. After I check my room I go with mom into the bathroom. Every night I get my teeth brushed. I really like it now, and if mom forgets I stand in front of the sink and whine.

Mom does a very good job on my teeth, and then she does hers. While she brushes her teeth I get to go into the bedroom and play with dad. The other night Mel got into the bedroom before me - usually he is not in the bedroom EVER. I tried to chase him out, but the door was closed. He ran under the bed, and I chased him under it. Dad let Mel out, but I kept going under the bed in a big circle; door, bed, door, bed, over and over. I go under on dad's side and pop out on mom's side, and then run to the door. It is SO much fun! Mom laughed at me, but I think really it was with me.
On Saturday I made a new... well maybe it is a friend. Really I am not sure what it is. It's small. Very small. And it smells very funny. Sometimes it pees when it walks. It is, mom says, 4 weeks old, and part Beagle. It lives with my "brother" Eric and his fiance Rachel and my nephew Aidan.

Mom says that Jack, this small thing, will be my friend when he is bigger.
If we are going to be friends, there need to be some ground rules. Actually, only one rule.

MINE!

I will try to get mom to let me post about how I do on my test tomorrow. I am SO going to mess with mom! Stay tuned!

Falling Behind

Nana is sometimes sick now and that takes a lot of mom's time so I don't get to blog as often as I would like lately.

We have more baby chickens now, and I want to eat them all.

I think it is very unfair for them to be RIGHT there and me to be a hunting dog by nature, and not be allowed to hunt them all.
We had a very busy Wenesday last week and I got to do a lot of things and go to a lot of places. In the morning we went for a woods walk.

I have decided that I like going into the woods with mom maybe even better than the yarn store or school or visiting nana at The Arbors.
We found a tree down across the road. I was all for turning back, but mom said no.

We went around it and kept on our path. That day I saw a waterfall, a lot of birds, and I tried to bring home a stick. Mom says we have sticks at home.
After that we went to the yarn store just to buy yarn, and then we went to the Arbors to see Nana and April. April is moving to Texas!

I was asleep on the floor when this picture was taken. It was a really busy day!

Mom's new book came from the publisher and I helped by carefully sniffing each box to make sure it was safe.

Dad just carried them. I think my job is more important. Anyone can carry things, but only I can smell for safety!
After the books came inside, I got to play rough with dad. I love playing rough with dad.

He is very good at playing. We play fetch almost every morning and every evening, and then sometimes we get to wrestle and something mom calls "tussle".
It is FUN whatever it's called!

It is a good way for me to get out my energy, and I have a lot of energy.

School this week went very well. Whenever I have a problem it is usually mom's fault. She's working me with no treats now because I cannot have any for my test. I am not sure why people would obey when there's no food, but I am trying. It would be a lot easier if there was food! Mom thinks if I have a good night on test night, I will pass. She says if I have a bad night or if the train comes, there's no way. I'll show her.

We went for a walk the other day while nana was doing some shopping. It was an in town walk and there was a lot of noise and chaos. Mom made me heel, and I did some turns and halting and stuff and I stayed right by her and my leash was loose almost the whole time!

I was SO tired after just a short time in town that I crashed right on the seat next to mom with my head still up.

My friend Gail is also called the Kangaroo Dyer and she dyes yarn. She has dyed a color that look just like me!

It will be available soon from Webs and I will post all of the information here when it's ready. I hope it's named after me. I love Gail a lot, and not just because she dyed yarn that looks like me. It's exciting!!

This week another one of my brothers, the ones without fur, came to visit and cut down trees outside. I did not like the chainsaw at first. it took me a while to get used to it, but now I don't mind so much. I still do not like it when trees fall at all, but I am not barking as loudly when they do.

Mel and I play together a lot now.

For a while mom thought I was chasing him and tormenting him.

The other day he actually did stuff in front of her, so now she knows it is not my fault. Mel teases me all the time.

He teases me to get my attention, and then he sits in the chair and bats at my head and tries to get me in trouble. It's a good thing I like him or I would think he's not very nice!

Dog school tomorrow, the last class before our big test next week. We are going to go for a walk in town, which will be fun now that I am more used to being in town. Wish me luck! I think we are going on Main Street where there are even more cars than I am used to!

A Week Behind

Monday (last) - Today I sneaked down into the basement around the gate again. Mom was on the phone having an important call with Nana and she could not come and get me. I stole Boo's bone and got up on the couch with it.

Sometimes he snaps at me and other times he does not. When he snaps at me he gets in trouble, and I get the bone taken away. When he does not snap at me, I get the bone taken away. I don't care. I am still going to steal it every chance I get.

Tuesday - We did not do a lot of school practice today. Mom thinks I do better if I have a day where I don't have to work a lot just before a day where there's a lot of work. She may be right. We did a little bit of the "off" and "stay" stuff around the house and in the barn. I don't like waiting while mom fills the waterers for the birds. She makes me sit and stay. The barn door is open, there are chickens everywhere, and I have to just SIT there like a lump and not chase them and EAT them. Not a lot of fun for me.

Wednesday - Grandpa came to visit and I got to get on the dining room table and be rubbed and lay down and socialize with him and mom. I had to "leave it" the (fresh from the oven and still warm!) banana muffin and the coffee mugs.

That was hard work, but I did it. I think if it had been fish I would not have done so well. A while after Grandpa left, Mom put me in my crate in the afternoon and LEFT ME. When she went to brush her teeth I cried a lot, not a whine or a bark, but a long, low howl. She did not buy it. She left me in my crate and walked right out the door. In fact she actually said to me "You're fine", just like that! I was NOT fine. I was VERY upset. Mom was gone for hours. Two of them. She had a meeting and she said dogs were not allowed. I don't believe her. I think she made up that part so she could go alone. When she got back I was glad to see her, and we hung out and played for a while. After dinner we went to dog school and I did well I think. Mom is trying not to give me any treats during school now because she can't give me any during my test. She only gives me treats at home about every 6th or 7th time that I do something. Mostly I do stuff anyway and hope she will give me things later. I had some trouble "staying" when there was a distraction. Amanda rolled a ball and made noise while I was in a sit-stay. I jumped right up to play and then I could not take my eyes OFF of Amanda for a long time. I kept hoping there would be more BALL! I love balls. School is usually all work, but a BALL is NOT WORK! Mom says we need to work on that so she is hoping that people will help tomorrow at Webs when we visit Friday.

Thursday - This is a slacker day. Mom seems to like taking a day off now and then, which I find very dull. She finds things for me to do, though - we go for a walk or we play a lot of ball. I think something bad happened to a baby chicken. Mom says now there are only 50 meat birds. I asked for the broken one after it was dead, but mom said no. Not fun since now I LOVE chicken! Mostly today is knitting and practicing things from school and watching movies. Mom says she is working all weekend so she is taking her weekend now.

Friday - In the morning we went for a jog in the woods. That was fun. I practiced heeling on the way home and I did well. I LOVE the woods! Then Mom left me home for errands. She said she had too many places to go that dogs can't visit. I was not happy. It made for a boring day. At night Toby and Kristen came. They are fun, and I like them. But everyone was loud and laughing and having a good time WITHOUT ME. I am not sure about that. We went to bed at MIDNIGHT!! I KNOW I did not like that!

Saturday - Dad took me for a short walk in the morning and when we got back mom was gone. She was gone ALL DAY. I am not sure how I feel about that. She was working at the yarn store. I want to go and work with her.

Sunday - I explained about how it would be great if I worked with her, but mom said no. She said there is a sign in the classroom that says "No dogs". Dad took me for a walk again but I wanted my mom. Dad watched a movie with me, and that helped, but i wanted MOM. I need to help her understand that she needs to stay home. She says she is not going to always stay home. I don't like it.

Monday - This morning we went for a jog in the woods again. We went farther than last time. There's a lot of up and down hills. On the downhills mom goes very slow and takes little steps; something about "shin splints", whatever that means. I have learned not to cross in front of mom, no matter what. She stepped on me once when I did. OW! We took a bath after. Well, we took them separately - mom first and then me. I am getting used to having my legs and belly washed. I kind of like it! I am GLAD mom was home all day today. Tonight I pulled a bottle cap off of a 2-liter bottle. I loved it!! Watch me here:


More soon, I promise!
Love -
Yoshi

No Time For Blogging?

That may be true. Mom is preoccupied with some important family things a lot of the time right now. She still is typing my words for me, so I have to wait for her to be free.

Wednesday -
I had school and I did well. I got better at my stay, which made mom happy. I still pull a little and get distracted easily, but Christie, our teacher, is really good at making distractions that we have to get used to. People walk around us and make noise and doors open and close so we learn to follow and heel even when there's stuff going on. This makes mom very happy. I worked a LOT on "off" - not jumping up on people - which I stink at. I want to be UP where people are not DOWN on the stupid floor.

Thursday -
I know we went out but I don't remember where any more. Oh yes I do! We went to Brattleboro! They have a store there that sells chicken things and mom needed a feeder. We were going to ship some packages too, but the man at the shipping place was rude to mom so she left. She says it doesn't pay to get angry when it's so easy to just walk away. At the Agway in Brattleboro where we got the chicken feeders I was petted and I stayed off mostly well. People in stores reach over the counter with cookies for me, and I jump up to get them. Mom says I have to learnt o wait until she SAYS I can get up. Until then I have to stay OFF. Off is confusing and I don't like it. Up is easier.

Friday -
Friday is my favorite day of the week. We delivered eggs to Webs, and I saw Auntie Mary and Auntie Kathy. I showed them how I can do stuff, like sit and stay and lay down and stand. Mom made me to stay in two different places in the store and she had people distract me, which was really hard. We did one with food distractions, and I stopped and ate a piece. I was going to eat another piece but mom sounded serious about me leaving it, so I went to her instead.

After that we went to Elgar and mom left me there in my crate and went out. She left me in a strange place in my crate! I wasn't sure how I felt about it at first, but I did very well and was quiet the whole time.

Then we went to visit Nana. We took her to do an errand at a store I cannot go into called Wilson's. Mom took me for a walk instead, around the block. There was a motorcycle that I did not like at all, but I did very well on my walk mom says. She thinks I pull too much, but I think she makes me stay too close. I am more right.

After the walk we waited for Nana behind Wilson's and I watched a man sweep the street. A lot of people and cars came and went in the parking lot and I ignored them mostly, which makes mom happy.

Nana wanted to go to a place called Wendy's. Mom said she would take her as long as she didn't have to eat anything from there. Nana got a fish sandwich, french fries, a soda and a thing called a Frosty that mom says is delicious, addictive and therefore evil. I believe her. back at The Arbors Nana tried to give me a french fry, but I spit it out. It was gross! Then she gave me a piece of the fried fish in her sandwich. I spit that out too.

Last she gave me a piece of bread from the bun, but I just sniffed it and would not even take it from her. Mom says I am her boy and this proves it. I do not like junk food. Give me REAL fish, not all fried and funny-smelling! Yuck!

Saturday -
In the morning Mom tried to brush my teeth again. Now that the baby ones are gone and the big ones are in she says it's time.

For now I get to lick the brush and chew on it a little. Sometimes mom wiggles it around in my mouth. I am getting used to it, but it feels weird.
Boring!! In the extreme!! Mom and dad spent almost the WHOLE day in the barn, cleaning it!

For a while mom and I rested on the deck, but I don't think the deck is really for resting. I wanted to sniff and look and whine and bark. Mom made me lay down and be quiet for a long time, and then she let me go back inside. She says that by the end of the summer I will understand about the deck. All I know is I can smell EVERYTHING out there! Foxes and coyotes and bears and weasels and chickens and I want to go and FIND them ALL!

I can see them if I stand on the table. I KNOW I can!

Sunday -
Mom killed two chickens in the morning. They were roosters and she says the yard is much quieter now without them. First she kills the chickens and then she has to clean them. Boo and I stayed inside; I slept in my crate and Boo laid on the floor near me. It seemed like it took a long time. When mom came back in she smelled really, really delicious, but she would not let me lick her jeans. No fun. She did bring us special treats, though. We went out on the back deck and she gave each of us a chicken heart! Boo spit his out. I ate mine and it was DELICIOUS! Then she gave us each a half of a liver. Boo spit his out again. I didn't! I'm not stupid! It was the BEST thing I ever ate! Mom put Boo's spit-out ones away and she says I can have them another time. Boo wants them cooked. Weirdo. Sometimes I am not sure he's a dog.

Mom rested for a little while and then we went for a ride with dad. We went to the bike path in Turner's Falls again to walk, only we went further this time. I met some dogs and some people, and a little boy with a bicycle. He liked me better than his bike. I got to see the canal, where the water comes right up under the bridge.

We walked down by the canal for a while, and then we walked back up the main street which is called Avenue A. At the top of Avenue A near where we turn to go back to the car I smelled something really good. It's a place called Holy Smokes.

Mom decided we could go and see what they had. She bought ribs, then said I couldn't have any! Where's the fun in that? We were the last customers. I had to wait outside with dad while mom got the ribs. But I like this place anyway, and I hope we go again sometime. Mom likes to take me to that path because there is so much going on. Cars, motorcycles, people, bicycles, dogs. She says that's all good stuff for my brain.

Girl's friend Faun came over and they watched movies at night, so I had snuggle time with mom downstairs in dad's cave again. It really bothers me that Boo is down there and he ha a bone that I think should be mine. I have my own bone that mom brings, but it's not as good as his, I know it. He thinks mine is better. Every time I leave the room, he tries to steal it. We steal from each other a lot. Mom says we are bad boys and stealing is wrong. She makes us give back the stuff we steal.

Today April may come to visit. Mom said she and April might go to the zoo. I hope it rains to they stay here. I like April!